Husband centers our marraige around ?

We have been married nearly 21 yrs, I am 44 and he is 49 yrs old. How I am treated and how we get along soley depends on how often he is getting . Other than him going to the grocery store with me, b/c I have no outside live of my own, we do nothing together. He isn't interested in what I like or he thinks it would be boring. (Movies, walks, skiing, board games, etc...) He watches television, sports, crime solving shows, and searches Ebay & Craigslist most of his free time. He gets out of work at 2:30 pm after working 8 hrs. I get out at 6 pm, after working 12 hrs. We have 3 children, I do all the cooking, cleaning & laundry. I am self employed, and take care of 6 children under 4 yrs old (2 are babies) 12 hrs a day, 5 days a week. He keeps track of how often we have , and accuses me of having an affair almost daily. I cannot even talk to my brother on the phone, b/c he thinks I am talking to him about other men. I have never been a run-around, and have been faithful to him our entire relationship. I am going nuts. The pressure to perform, and find time for it alone, is killing me, and if we don't, the greuling side effects of him treating me like a tramp are unbearable. I wish there was a vitamin I could give him to slow down his desire to have to have daily. I feel our marriage has much larger issues that need to be looked at before worrying about how often we have . Any thoughts or suggestions are appreciated.